If there had been a shower...
This weekend, we would have been celebrating our sweet boy with a baby shower in Toronto. There were plans to spend quality time with family and talk all things baby before returning to Montreal where our little one will be born. The invites were ready, the registry was made and my sister had already gone overboard with balloons.
And then came a virus that pressed pause on the entire world and suspended all plans.
Like everyone else, we’ve had to adapt. As much as I was looking forward to belly rubs and shower games, it wasn’t meant to be.
In lieu of a traditional shower, I’m looking forward to celebrating with friends and family once our baby is born. We’ll visit Toronto for the first time as a family of three (whenever it’s safe to travel again) and our little guy will get to meet some of the most important people in our lives.
I’ve been trying to find a silver lining with every adaptation to this new ‘normal’ and have come to realize that a celebration once the baby is born will, in many ways, be so much more memorable.
People will be able to ooh and aah over a real baby instead of my big belly. You’ll get to meet our sweet boy in person, look into his eyes and hold his little hands. You’ll find a way to make him smile and get a whiff of that newborn scent (the sweet, baby smell - not the poop smell).
It would have been nice to celebrate this chapter of my life with you in person but I’d hate to let a pandemic take anything away from this experience. Thankfully we have the technology to remain connected in some way through these crazy times.
Having been away from home for the better part of the last 10 years, I’m no stranger to life away from friends and family. I’ve grown accustomed to video calls on holidays and, while you get used to the distance, it never really gets easier.
These photos and words might not compare to what the day could have been, but I wanted to at least take this opportunity to share some of what this chapter has been like.
If there had been a shower, you would have seen the bump. I didn’t really look pregnant for the first five months so I’m fully embracing this growing belly. We’re now at seven months and I’m carrying around a basketball with a very active baby inside. He used to only dance around at night but the movement is pretty constant throughout the day.
If there had been a shower, I would have shared that I feel so grateful to have had a smooth pregnancy so far. I feel good, sleep pretty well (for now) and only get the occasional heartburn at night. Wes says the pregnancy has done something to my brain because he finds I’m being overly nice instead of hormonal and moody. There are certainly times when I feel like I’ve won the pregnancy lottery and only wish this was the case for every mama-to-be.
If there had been a shower, you might have asked about any weird cravings or food aversions. While I haven’t demanded pickles or ice-cream, I do truly miss red wine and have rediscovered a love for pancakes. They’ve now become a regular part of our Sunday morning breakfasts and a weekly tradition I hope to continue when our little one arrives.
I would have talked about how we’ve started deep cleaning our apartment and making room for all the baby items that are arriving. How the three of us will be sharing a one-bedroom apartment for the first year now that we’ve decided to renew our lease here in Montreal. How we’re learning to adjust from a minimalist life of living out of suitcases to somehow having accumulated so much stuff in such a short period of time.
I might have shared my excitement over raising our son in this new and exciting city. Where he’ll learn French at school and maybe even be tri-lingual by the time he’s learned to skate. And where daycare is only $8 a day.
I would have shared stories of what it’s like to visit a hospital during this pandemic. How only 4 people are allowed in each large elevator, one per corner. How chairs are spread far apart in the waiting rooms and spouses are no longer allowed to join in on prenatal check-ups.
If there had been a shower, you would have heard of my intent to (hopefully) have as natural a birth as possible. I would have shared what I’ve learned about hypnobirthing, my wishes to experience an unmedicated birth and my very real fears of pooping during labour.
Most of all, if there had been a shower, I would have had the chance to thank you in person. To give you a big, big hug and say how grateful I am to have you in my life. I would have been at a loss for words over the generosity we’ve seen and support we’ve received from all over the world.
So many have told us how lucky this baby is to have Wes and I as parents. This caught me completely off guard at first because we admittedly have no idea what we’re doing. I mean, just last summer we were eating instant noodle soup on a train in Russia and now we’re watching YouTube videos on how to clean a baby’s belly button once the umbilical cord falls off.
I know this is the feeling for many first time parents and I know we’ll learn things as we move through each phase of this new experience. I just can’t help but think that who we’ll each become in our new role as parents is a direct reflection of the positive influences we’re fortunate to have in our lives. The devoted parents and relatives and friends-turned-family. Those who have been such strong pillars for us whether we’re home or not. The constant examples of love, affection and generosity.
So, yes, our son will be lucky to have Wes and I as parents. Largely because that means he’ll get to have you in his life, too.
♥